Lessons from a Monk
by Tifa Tyndal
Summary: Taking lessons from a monk should be safe, right? Especially a monk who seems to know everything.


**Lessons from a Monk**

**A One-Shot by Tifa Tyndal**

**Disclaimer**: I don't own the show Inuyasha. If I did then everyone would be stick figures thanks to my inability to draw very well.

**Summery**: Taking lessons from a monk should be safe, right? Especially a monk who seems to know _everything._

**Spoiler Warning**: No spoiler warning really. One you get to know the names of the main people then nothing else in this can spoil you.

'

He was going to do it. He was going to impress her and make her fall in love with him. Miroku had said it wasn't necessary that she already liked him enough but Inuyasha really, really wasn't convinced. Miroku had finally agreed to train him and train him he did. From a to z Miroku taught Inuyasha all he knew. And now, Inuyasha was ready.

She was standing in front of a lake, staring into the water, and looking distraught. This was his chance. He was going to sweep her off her feet.

"Hello, Kagome," Inuyasha said placing a hand on her shoulder.

'_Lesson number one, use her name a lot. Girls like that. And touch her any chance you get.'_

'_That doesn't get __you__ anywhere.'_

'_I'm not talking about her rear. Her shoulders, her arm, tuck some hair behind her ear, something like that.'_

"Oh, hello, Inuyasha," Kagome sighed deeply and continued to stare at the water.

'_If she ignores you after the initial greeting do something to get her attention. Bring up something of interest to her or ask her a kind question about how she's doing or something like that.'_

"Are you ok?" Inuyasha consciously put some concern in his voice. "Is it those tests again?"

"No-I mean, yes, I mean," Kagome stumbled over her words. "Yes, I'm ok. No, school isn't giving me any more trouble than usual."

"Then why are you out here all alone?" Inuyasha asked a little gruffly.

"Just thinking," Kagome turned back to the water where she stared back into her reflection.

'_Don't take vagueness as rejection. It's her way of prompting you to work harder. Dig deeper but do it gently. Before you know it she'll be spilling her guts.'_

"About what?" Inuyasha breathed.

"This and that," Kagome smiled a little. "Nothing for you to worry about."

'_When it's time for you to make your move, ever so gently take her chin and turn her face to look at yours. Say something romantic, complement her and let her know you care.'_

Inuyasha sighed and with the hand that wasn't touching her shoulder carefully pulled her chin up and around so that her eyes looked up at him. "Nothing for me to worry about? You know every time I let you out of my sight I worry about you."

"Inuyasha..." Kagome breathed, her eyes wide.

"Did I ever tell you how beautiful your hair looks shining against the setting sun?" Inuyasha said running his fingers through a bit of Kagome's shining locks.

'_Finally, when the stage is set lean in for the kiss. Gently now, don't startle her. Give her time. And don't forget to wait to close your eyes 'till the last second just in case she decides to back out.' _

Inuyasha breathed deeply and leaned slightly in toward Kagome. This was perfect. Slowly he lowered his face closer to hers.

"Inuyasha," Kagome breathed hard. It was obvious he was getting to her. "Inuyasha... I think I'm-" She took a deep breath. "I'm really fat." Her eyes crinkled in dismay. "What do you think?"

'_Last and most important lesson. The girl is always, always right. Agree with her every chance you get; never disagree. Profusely tell her that she's correct.'_

Inuyasha prepared to use the last bit of knowledge that Miroku had taught him. "You're absolutely right. You are fat. Really, really fat." Inuyasha smiled a little, proud of his progress. He was so sure that he had her in the palm of his hand until...

"Inuyasha!" SMACK!

Inuyasha rubbed his cheek tenderly. The mood he had worked so hard to create was gone like a flash. "What'd I say?" He asked defensively.

"ARGH!" Kagome yelled, fisting her hands at her sides. "Sit!" She yelled then took off back towards the camp.

Inuyasha was confused. He followed as soon as the spell wore off. "Kagome!" He called after her.

Back at camp Kagome was fuming. Sango looked pretty angry too. Apparently Kagome had told her what happened. Miroku just looked confused.

"What's wrong, Inuyasha?" Miroku asked innocently once Kagome had dragged Sango off somewhere muttering about not being able to stand the company.

"'What's wrong?'" Inuyasha practically yelled.

"What did you do to Kagome?" Miroku questioned.

"I was following YOUR advice!" Inuyasha said and stormed off to find a tree to sleep in that night, leaving a rather bewildered looking monk behind.

Inuyasha glared into nothing. He was going to have to apologize to Kagome even though being fat was actually a sign of wealth where he came from. Apparently things had changed in her times. He would have simply told her that she was beautiful and been truthful and told her that she, indeed, wasn't fat at all. But he hadn't all because of a stupid teaching.

That was the last time he took lessons from a monk.

**THE END**

**-**

Yay! Yet another fiction prepped! I know that yes, this whole thing seems rather unlikely but isn't that what fan fictions are for? To put the unlikely or the never-gonna-happen into words? I just hope you enjoyed it! -**The Author**


End file.
